To put it simply, I’m not a future Bengal anymore.

A present one, in fact. Today was my first day on campus. It’s been good? Bad? Crazy? Stressful? Fun? (Really, really hot?) All of the above?

There are events of the let’s-all-get-to-know-each-other-by-embarrassing-everyone-together variety going on right now, but in the delicious freedom that college offers I’m sitting in my dorm room moving things around and blogging. And that’s okay with me.

Today, during the part where you really can’t escape the let’s-all-get-to-know-each-other-by-embarrassing-everyone-together events, the honors college kids were going on a combination Amazing Race/Where’s Waldo adventure. In our group of a couple noisy girls, a couple quiet girls (me among them), a bunch of guys all not unlike each other, and Derek, I was feeling increasingly isolated, and that got a little frustrating. But then came the perspective.

This is only the first day. There is plenty more time for me to talk to people. You can’t form bonds all in a day, which is a lie that the Orientation people have been sold and are selling. They need to study Rome. But that’s okay.

I’m tangenting. The point is, I was slightly panicky and slightly bitter and starting to think things like “high school all over again I get to be the outcast and it takes me two years to figure out what the hell I’m doing and blah blah blah.” And then I realized that, no. High school is not college (in case I hadn’t already been told that ten billion and three times). This is only the first day, and there is plenty more coming down the pipe. And even if it does take me two years to figure out what the hell I’m doing, THAT IS OKAY, because life is a river (see below) and nothing should ever worry you because everything is always changing. Well, except for when you’ve missed a deadline for something. Journalism is going to stick with me whether I like it or not, I suppose.

The cool part was when I realized that this is not something I would have realized when I was a freshman in high school. So that was slightly trippy, but very cool.

This college stuff is already full of crap, but it is very exciting crap. I wish I’d brought that foot-deodorizing spray for runners’ feet from home though. It’s hot outside and it’s hot in the dorm room. Bleh.


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