stuff i’ve been writing.

It’s been a long time since I wrote any poetry, but here’s one.

will you love me when
will you love me when
i bite into my ramen noodles
and somehow
(the physics of food are weird)
manage to drop a good clump of it
on my sweatshirt –
will you love me then?

will you love me when my eyes swell
from seasonal allergies
both squinty and fat
and i hate my allergy meds for
failing to do their allergy med job –
will you love me then?

will you love me when i am crippled
by insecurity over this or that
or by creative crisis folding my
ambitions into crumpling bits
or by deep-welling anger and regret
throwing me out of orbit –
will you love me then?

will you love me when you are crippled
by your childhood
or your impending adulthood
or your past loves
or the shadow you grew up in
whatever that may be
will you love me when you bite
into your ramen and it drops
into your lap –

will you love me in your worst moments –
when I am fumbling for a way
to comfort you in your inexplicable
complex humanity and
failing utterly
and the hardest thing you will ever do
is love me in that moment
when you need more
than what i am able to give
and i still pathetically try –
will you love me then?

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