So a thought occurred to me a minute ago. I also hit publish on that last post a minute ago. Funny how things work.
Basically, it is almost confirmed (though with my family you still never quite know) that we will be here for the entirety of Christmas break. With two surgeries (one of them my wisdom teeth – finally) among the five of us, coupled with the fact that my Minnesotan grandmother will be here for Thanksgiving, it’s rather unlikely that we will bother trying to fly to Minnesota to see the relatives at Christmas. But it’s unlikely that the other person in my family who will be having surgery will be skiing after it, and it happens before Christmas, so that’s pretty sad and kind of eliminates the chance of all of us going. On the other hand, that may mean that if the family doesn’t sneak up to McCall or whatever, I will hopefully be able to knock out lifeguard certification training and be ready to apply for various camps of the language immersion variety on the early end of things. Yay. And if I do it over Christmas, I won’t have to do it over spring break, by which point “normal activities can be resumed” for this surgery-undergoing member of my family, so skiing would actually be possible. More yay.
Anyway, the fact that I probably won’t ski with the whole family set me thinking about the fact that I still want to go and now have no idea with whom, and I swear this isn’t a cattle call but it made me really, really wish I had more friends who skied, and from that thought I got to I wish I liked more people who skied, and then I was like, hold on.
That’s a monumentally stupid thought.
I have quoted a children’s version of Twelfth Night for many years: “Love is love,” said Olivia. “We cannot choose who we love.”
I like people. Some of them are weird. Some of them possess characteristics or beliefs that are diametrically opposite of mine. I like them anyway – that’s the entire point.
Even if it means tolerating the fact that few to none of my very favorite people in all the world are really inclined to say, “YES ABSOLUTELY,” if I were to say, “Hey, wanna come skiing with me?”
As I believe I have stated before, you can’t just wait around your whole life for people who fit your criteria to show up. If you decide to wait all your life for a guy who is over six feet with nice cheekbones who plays hockey, sings opera and makes delicious spaghetti, the odds that anyone like this will actually show up are smaller than if you just decide to try to find people you like and with whom you can connect.
I think that last bit may be a big part of what I am missing when it comes to how awfully cranky I get when hounding the people I love/think are wonderful for attention, as I am prone to do, or when I’m trying not to want to hound them for attention, which I am even more prone to do. With whom you can connect. That’s important. Now a lack of connection doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate the utter radiating awesomeness of a person, but it may mean that it will be healthier and easier for the both of you to just think they’re cool from a distance. If they cannot connect with you in a way that makes it worth your while to like them so much, perhaps it’s okay to stop trying so hard. But it doesn’t mean you stop liking them, or decide to not be nice should they reach out to you of their own accord one day, or even never reach out yourself again. It just means you be more understanding of the fact that they do not connect with people in a way that you can handle.
As usual with this sort of stuff, I may be talking more to myself than anybody else.
Also, sometimes the truth is a slap to the face, but sometimes the truth is a slap to the face from someone who’s been standing in front of you for ten minutes, and suddenly you are aware of how simple it is.