So yesterday I got into a suburban and drove eight hours from Reno to Pocatello, mostly because on Friday I drove eight hours from Pocatello to Reno.
And the weekend was full of cool things and I forgot to take a single picture and slept in the car a lot and talked to a lot of people I didn’t know and freaked out some because of it. That’s a thing that has become more and more true of me over the last couple of years – making small talk with people I’m not comfortable with literally wears me both out and down. I’m trying to do it anyway.
Mostly, the greatest thing was spending time with my fraternity brothers and this one particular presenter who just sort of blew my mind with how awesomely fun he was, and then I went back to another session he did because the first was so fun, and it was about a handful of things but I remember specifically he stressed the importance of risk, and also the relationship between generosity and community, and basically it re-kicked me in the pants to BE HONEST WITH PEOPLE, even though I technically had that epiphany a couple weeks ago, but NOW I JUST WANNA DO IT ALL THE TIME.
I love my people, and by my people I mean my mom and my dad and both of my adorable sisters and Derek and Hannah and Helena and Photina and my fraternity brothers. They are wonderfully complex human beings and I cannot quantify what they mean to me, but I love to try.
So here’s to it: I’m going to take more risks. I’m just going to open my mouth and say the thing that I have been thinking about saying for ten minutes or ten months or ten years. I’m going to tell people the truth. I’m going to read and write and go running and play the piano because these are things that I want to do and which make me happy. (Oh, and I’m going to stop spending so much time on YouTube.) I’m going to try to learn more about the people I spend time around instead of walking around well-wadded with ambivalence, to paraphrase George Eliot. I’m going to do what I want to do with my life. I’m not going to procrastinate and I am going to ask for help and I am going to sing out loud while I clean my room and I am going to go outside every day and I am going to love every second of it.