like a first kiss.

I have kissed a handful of people
and they don’t so much matter
when I look at you
when your hair tickles my forehead
it doesn’t feel like the whole
world coming down
(which, believe me,
is a good thing)
in other times with other people
I found myself
thinking wildly during every kiss
(am I doing this right?
what should I do next
to make this person want me more?)
and with you
I don’t remember what my name is
I can’t think what next
I doubt I’m even thinking
it’s just a matter of oh god your lips
honestly?
it’s like a first kiss
that’s what it’s like
I don’t need you to want me
so desperately we’re both surprised
I don’t need to kiss you until my face hurts
I don’t need you outrageously
I need you in small, everyday ways
(you, too, are calming,
whether you know it or not)
we are our own quiet people
It’s not so much an
I’m-shooting-nervous-energy-
from-my-fingertips feeling
as it is
I-am-home-and-I-never-want-to-leave.

3/19/2015

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