here we go.

Oh hi.

I rather doubt I’ll have much time to blog for a while. I’ll probably have plenty to blog about, but less time and even less internet connection to do so.

Tomorrow morning begins, in a small way, the biggest adventure yet.

(I’m being melodramatic because, oddly, it makes me feel calmer.)

My cousin is graduating high school in Oregon and we’ll drive over to see that in the morning, to be back on Sunday. Monday will be the touchdown, the balloon bouncing off the wall. We’re putting my mother on a plane on Monday evening and the rest of us will drive away on Tuesday morning. And I won’t be back for two months, at which point I’ll be here about ten days before I’m off to live on another continent for a while.

The scariest thing about this summer is not the places I’m going or how long I’ll be gone or what I’ll have to learn to do when I get there, but rather the fact that I’m leaving a box behind marked “Future Apartment Stuff.”

I mean, when I come back from Sweden it’ll be that kind of time. (Time for me to get a real job?!) I am being melodramatic again but I sense the end of an era in this summer. Some years are made for goodbyes. I recall the first summer the oldest cousin on my mom’s side was only home for a little while – I said hello to him once that summer in the kitchen of his mother’s house and that was it. It felt weird at the time, but I haven’t seen him in a year and a half and it doesn’t feel half so weird anymore. I’ve sort of been the disappearing cousin in my own right for a couple of years, off and on, because of campering and then counseling. My sisters and one cousin in particular and I used to have a tight-knit group of four, but I haven’t seen that cousin in a year and a half either, and now she’s graduated high school and I know nothing about her journey. In fairness, I suppose, she knew little to nothing about mine.

People grow up. Communities splinter and fuse together somehow else. I’m very introspective at the moment. Good thing I’ve got mindless YouTube playlists to fall asleep to.

Tomorrow the driving begins.

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